It would be easier to just cease to exist. All of these trials and tribulations, and for what? One day of happiness? I feel mostly dead all the time, and honestly not to belittle the good- I am so grateful for my loved ones who continue to show support, but I am losing it. The only reason why I am still kicking is for you. I just hate feeling this way, and feeling obligated to wake up and do stuff for everyone else. I’m never going to go places. I’m never going to fulfill my dreams. I can never finish anything, because I make excuses, and oh, because I am not great enough. I am just a number. I’m the girl who is just okay at everything. I’m the one who is always scrapes by, and you know what? I deserve it. I am broken, and cannot fully be fixed, and it’s preposterous to even think that it’ll be better. I believe in others, but not myself. I am so sorry that I let everyone down. I’m so sorry for any stress and stupid fights. I really love you guys and hope you all have wonderful lives and beautiful adventures. I feel horrible writing depressing things here, but I needed this.